When we wish...

Sabi nga, nasa Dios ang awa at nasa tao ang gawa.

It is true. Minsan hiling tayo ng hiling:
"LORD ibigay mo sakin ang taong para sakin."
"LORD gusto ko 'nun. Ibigay mo sakin yun."
"LORD willing ako maghintay, pero gusto ko talaga magawa yun."

Let's analyze. Minsan sa kaiintay natin natatapos na ang oras at wala pa rin nangyayari. Hindi porke ginawa mong humiling, maghihintay ka na lang. We also need to move. Kumilos. He will provide the woods and you have to build the home. He will give you water but you have to find your own glass.
Parang ganun. Bueno, kanya kanya naman tayo ng opinyon when it comes to things like this, lalo na at kanya-kanya naman talaga tayo ng paniniwala. But the bottomline is you always have to move. Gusto mo ng lovelife, maghanap ka. It depends on your priorities anyway if you feel you need it lang naman. Some people do not need lovelife for now. Some people do. It depends nga.

Kung nakita mo na finally ang bagay o tao na gusto mo at magpapasaya sayo, you have to do something about it. Risk. What's for you will eventually be for you. And if it is not, it is going to be a good experience or a lesson. Still, you're not going to be left empty. Minsan kasi aalis sa atin ang isang tao at akala natin walang wala na tayo, PERO, look beyond that o kung hindi mo makita beyond, look at your back. What do you have there? Appreciate everything that is going on. Minsan hiniling mo, binigay sayo at nawala, hindi pa dun natatapos ang lahat. Believe HIM.

If we are going to be afraid to get hurt, lost, cry over someone or something, to be left behind, then ano ang mga bagay na hindi mo kinatatakutan?
:)

Trust and Faith

Minsan dadating tayo sa point na hindi na natin kayang magtiwala. As in pati sarili nating desisyon sa buhay, hindi na natin mapanindigan.
Madalas kaya tayo palaging beast mode. Madalas kaya tayo palaging nakakasakit or nasasaktan.
Madalas kaya tayo nagiging undecided o naguguluhan.

"May tiwala pa ba tayo sa tao? May tiwala pa ba tayo sa ating mga sarili?"

Hirap ano? Hirap nating hanapin ang landas natin lalo kapag walang wala na tayong makita. Puro failures at disappointments na lang ang nangunguna.

Kaya tayo madaling ma-fall eh. Kapag sa ating mga madidilim na araw eh may nagpakita saatin na maliwanag naman pala ang buhay. Blessing ito kahit hindi pa naman natin sure kung ano ang kahihinatnan. Wala lang. Basta naniniwala lang tayong blessing 'yun. Dahil hiniling natin 'yun kay Papa Jesus at dumating naman. Naniniwala tayo sa Kanya eh.

Kaya aalagaan natin ang lahat lahat at gagawin natin ang best natin. Kasi we believe na galing 'to sa Panginoon. That person is from Jesus. Normally, wala naman talagang taong dadaan sa buhay natin na wala lang. Or depende din talaga, masyado kasi akong palaisip kaya ko naiisip 'to. But in case you have no idea and you always want to play safe as always, sana maisip mo na.

"Everything happens for a reason. If the lesson is not for you, maybe it is for them."

Oo. Minsan kasi ginagamit din tayong instrument ng Panginoon to help someone. Pero di ka nya gagamitin king alam nyang di mo kaya. Galing nya ano? Paano mo napapagbago ang buhay ng isang gago, este tao. Hehe.
Wag ka munang mamangha. Antayin mo pa ang next move ni Papa God. Tiwala ka lang talaga sa kanya. 💙

Why I'd rather write.

Expressing (emotions) is never easy. It never was. It will took you madaming hugot of lakas ng loob just to type and post your thoughts.
(Pero it depends na rin. You know, minsan may mga posts na hindi muna iniisip bago ilabas, and I will not talk about that. Hehe.)
Syempre bago mo ishare, mapapaisip ka muna kung madami bang matutuwa sa posts mo or what. But believe me, if your posts or blog is really from your heart, hindi ka magdadalawang isip i-share.

Kasi it is your happiness. You are talking about YOU. And happiness is real when shared sabi nga sa isang qoutation. Hindi naman mababawasan ang kaligayahan mo kapag sinabi mo sa iba. Minsan nga hindi mo alam, nakaka-inspire ka na pala ng iba. Minsan hindi mo alam madami na palang naga-abang sa mga kwento mo.

Hindi naman porke nag-share ka eh wala ka ng privacy. You know you are inteligent enough to choose what to post. Wala pa yan sa 1/8 ng nalalaman nila sa kabuoan ng buhay mo. You only do it because you're happy doing it. And you want to be remembered. You want to inspire.(Kunyare sarili ko na lang ang ang kinakausap ko. Hehe)

Ako talaga ang tipo ng tao na ayoko masyadong ipakita ang sarili ko at ang mga naiisip ko sa iba, mas gusto ko pang isulat. I do not easily listen sa opinyon ng iba because I know what I am doing. But, there are times na I need to talk too. May social life din naman ako at madaming kaibigan. Minsan kasi drained ka na at ayaw mo na rin kausapin ang sarili mo.
I also realized, when you have personal problems, sarilinin mo na lang.
I know your friends are always willing to help you naman. They are always there but sometimes, minsan, ikaw at ikaw lang din naman ang makakatulong sa sarili mo. I mean, hindi pala sometimes, most of the time pa nga eh.
Or kung hindi mo na talaga kaya, we always have one friend that understands us. Wag mo na ipaalam pa sa iba.

You should lift yourself up and wag kang magpahila sa baba. Ang opinyon mo eh mahalin mo at wag kang makikinig sa iba. Good or bad, atleast sayo yan. Atleast wala kang sisisihin.

Masaya. Masaya ang mabuhay sa sariling mundo. Masaya ang wala kang kinaiilangan, at wala kang pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba. Masarap magpakatotoo.

Mas gusto ko pa talagang isulat na lang ang mga nararamdaman ko kesa mag share sa tao ng as in personal talks. Dito wala kang judgment, dito walang bad vibes, dito malaya ka. Magro-grow ka naman din kahit di mo iexplain ang sarili mo sa iba.

Love yourself first, tapos saka na sila.

💙

Not the same feeling anymore 💜

In the first 5 months of our amazing relationship, I can't deny that I became super inspired and feeling loved everyday of my life.

The 6th month is the happiest, because finally we can hug and kiss each other unlimited! Oh how I wish I can do it again right now!

I have been waiting for this feeling to come again and having Faith to God Almighty, here I am. Blogging how HAPPY I am. (THANKS GOD NAOVERCOME KO. HAHA!)

I know we are going to fight and argue over things. I LOVE how we argue. That kind of "sagutan" without bad words, sagutan with sense, sagutan with feelings, that is what I like. True. He always amazes me. I know he loves me a lot that's why he's like this to me.
💜

In 2months mahigit na he is in Pinas he never failed to check me up, update me on what he is doing, (except those days na naiyamot na ako sakanya at ako na ang hindi nagparamdam dahil I can feel he is testing how much I love him and so I did, tinest ko din sya kung hanggang saan ang patience nya sa akin.), maximum times of video call and call is 3x a month 15mins or less. All chats. Pero walang palya, kahit na magkaaway kami araw araw may message. 10 pogi points.
Imagine how can you trust a person thru chats lang. Haha. But I did. I do trust him. Ayokong pahirapan ang sarili ko and sya. I know the KEY is in ME. 💜

WE BOTH made a mistake, nagkamali sya, nagkamali ako. In the end, walang natalo, patas ang laban. Niloko nya ako? Hindi, kasi hindi ako nagpaloko. Magkaiba 'yon.
Ang nagpaloko eh when you did not do anything about it. Yung hinayaan mo na lang.

So anyway, hindi ko na sya mahal. Mahal na mahal na mahal ko na sya, like he is a platelet sa aking blood na as in dumadaloy sa aking ugat.

He always do his best na patunayan saakin how much he love me. He even insisted on having shared account in Facebook. 💜 Ang haba haba ng hair ko.

I fell in love with his mind. With him. I respect him being a Man. I do not want to remove his manhood just because of my ego. He knows what he is doing and he needs me to support him.

If you're his friend and you are reading this, there is more about him I know.

Magaan ang pakiramdam ko kasi pagkagising ko kanina, parang may masamang espiritu na umalis sa katawan ko. Haha! And then I can finally say,

"Eto na ang hinihintay ko. I'm back on track!"

So I want to THANK GOD sa lahat ng ito.

Girls, if you want to feel the same way i feel? Appreciate and do not count what you do. Lagi akong ganito kay Kerk na goodvibes. Alam nyo yun,  pero siguro yung mindset ko na I hate Pinas because I am not there, that is killing me. And that almost kill me. And never will I want to feel that again. Parang kagabi lang, I am about to cry dahil nahohomesick ako and all. Pero bago ako matulog, naiiyak ako kasi di ko alam na kaya ko palang magmahal ng taong kagaya nya.

He's my ONE. And if he is not, I'll make a way.

When he tell me his feelings

I know that God has plans and tests in our lives. It is not always OK, it is not always ALRIGHT. We are going to hurt each other by words, emotionally, unintentionally and many more. But these things are not going to happen without any reason. What we need to do is to hold on.

Look for goodness. Sometimes when everything seems shattered, we tend to stop what we always wanted to do. We are always in the dark corner and we stop appreciating. We tend to be blind and focus more on the bad.
Don't. The time when you started to feel that your boy/girl doesn't deserve your love anymore, that is the right time for them to feel your love more and more. Like 2x than before. They are just losing their minds and going crazy with few things that surrounds them. They are being bothered by bad influences.  Remember where it all began. We both deserved to be loved and if we feel we deserved each other, we must pull ourselves back.

Anyway, 18 days of sacrifices I can say. He has been the most stubborn human being ever existed. I hated him for that days and loved him at the same time. The only man who made me feel love and hate in one. I cannot even imagine that was possible. Anyway, he almost kneeled down to get me back (I never left him tho he just felt that I am near to walking away. Good Job! He has feelings!)

He started sharing his feelings again. How he got bored, bothered by things, worried of little stuffs, hate something, everything! That is what I loved about him tho. If a key to a man's heart is thru his stomach then for ME, a key to my heart is thru a guy's true feelings. I love it when a man is sharing. It's a turn on. I love reading behaviors and minds. I can know him easily by that.

Before I ended it, I want to share a line from a bible verse.

"Love keeps no records of wrongs"
1 Corinthians 13:5

It is true without being exaggerated. Sometimes it hurts to remember a bad past, but it only lasts for a second because everytime I have doubts, I share it with the Lord and not with my guy. Hehe..that is so effective, you must try.
Amen! 💙

What can you do to save your LDR Love?

Hell weeks. This is what we have encountered. Hanep sa challenges. He is living his own life, i do not care, what I care about is our relationship. Really. It is okay to go on with your life, what isn't okay is if one of us forgets our responsibilities to each other. Being committed is a responsibility. You cannot just go on with what you know that is only for you (not all the time). We are ONE. Teamwork is a MUST.

So while he is too busy doing his stuffs, he forgot about me. I hate when people are in their own comfort zones then easily forgot how lonely it is when outside. I am going crazy for real. It feels like I want the whole him and not just 1/4 of him. I am not pulling him, I just want to feel him and he wants to go away. So then, I realized to look for other happiness. One that he cannot give to me for the moment. He noticed then wants me to come back and focus more on him. Which is unfair on the other side. But one thing is clear, he do not want me to leave and me neither. I just moved on a bit of inch to know if I am still important. I danced with his music, and he doesn't want the way I danced with it. So he adjusted. I just hope that he can stand it. Because for me it is not that easy though.

Happiness is always there. It will never leave if you will hold on to it.
Do not talk or share what's personal to other people. Only few knows you, others will give opinions and theirs will not help you that much.

If you want to have peace of mind, as a girl, a woman in LDR, PRAY. Say everything to the LORD. He is the One who will really help you all through out. Not your boyfriend, not your friends. GOD will use them as His instrument and that's it.  When I have doubts, I used to tell it to God. Sometimes, it is better to be innocent than knowing everything at the wrong time. If there is something wrong, you'll feel it. God will not let you live your life filled of wrong doings.

Hindi laging happy

LDR. Kakaiba. Puro tiis at hirap. Puro overthinking na hindi maiiwasan lalo kapag pagod ka sa trabaho. Puro away at tampuhan na akala mo laging mauuwi sa break-up. Puro sumbatan ay hingian ng oras, na kapag di ka mapagbigyan agad feeling mo di ka na mahalaga. Puro selos na hindi maiiwasan lalo kapag nakikita mong mas masaya pa sya sa kaibigan nya kaysa saiyo. Masakit yon dahil FEELING mo, hindi sya sayo nakuha ng SAYA.
Pero aminin mo, dahil sa pagmamahal mo, lahat ito bukal sa loob mong pinaglalaban at kinakaya.

LDR. Napakasarap isiping may nagmamahal sayo sa malayo. Napakasarap isipin na kahit di kayo nagkakaroon ng physical contact, mahal nyo pa rin ang isat isa. Napakasarap isipin na lagi tayong may hinihintay-Ang Makasama sya.
Napakasarap isipin na nagmamahal ka ng iba, at nagkakaoras ka sa sarili mo. Napakasarap isipin na alam mong hindi ka nagiisa.

LDR. Kalaban natin ay oras na 12hrs, 6hrs, 3hrs pagitan. Kalaban natin ay puyat at antok. Kalaban natin ay ang internet connection. Kalaban natin ay ang araw na hindi natin sila nakukumusta man lang. Kalaban natin ay ang mga guni-guni na bumubulong sa ating isipan. Kalaban na hindi mananalo sa ating totoo at buong pagmamahalan.

LDR. Hindi laging masaya. Kung yun ngang magkasama nagaaway pa ano pa kaya tayo na tao lang din naman.
LDR na hindi man nga laging masaya, bawing bawi naman kapag naulit na ang pagsasama.

*time is gold..wag tayo mag aksaya ng kras sa arguments na dala lang ng pansariling emosyon. LDR helps us to grow more. LDR helps us to be MATURE.*