Oh, Life! Oh, Love!

Being in love with someone is one of the best feeling I could say that exists inside and out of me as a human. 

For me, love is not just love. It is where I can find my own self, worth, and knowing what is the best that I can do for me and for the people around me. 

This morning, I watched the video that Yeng Constantino just uploaded in Facebook and she is commenting about the LGBT issue. Everything that she is saying is totally remarkable, except that there is one that I want to highlight.  "It is nice to do all things with love."

I believe on that. 

I started working here in Spain when I was 21. I am now turning 23, and yes, not working so long ago but experiences taught me to do things with LOVE. I just felt it. 

The reason why I want to connect this to LOVE is because at first, I thought I only work for myself. You know, for my own personal needs and goals, to buy gadgets, to buy all the things I want. I never loved my first job for real, but I was more than thankful to work there. Working for someone whom you really don't like was like a total torture for my body and mind. I was heartbroken working there for 9 months. But I keep pushing myself to work more because I have goals in life that I wanted to achieve. Basically, it is still love; love for my self. Though before, I do not really know what is my self worth. Why I am doing this for, why I am here. And I was like, being from a girl full of dreams to a clueless-going-with-the-flow-weak-lonely girl. 

I realized, when you are heartbroken, you are doing things just to prove everybody that they have wronged you while you are there tired and restless. You only want to prove them wrong and ended up feeling that you are only quarelling with your self. For that, you seek for a love that will lift you higher than you are. The feeling is really bad. You feel that no one likes you. No one appreciates you. No one is willing to fight for you. Then I met God. 

I am shouting to the world how loved I am today. Firstly, Loved by God. Everything has changed. From being weak, to being strong mentally, physically and emotionally. I never imagined how great this life is. Even I met the person I can consider my soulmate. And everything that I am doing today is done with love. It is like a fantasy if you are going to think about it, but this is real. I feel the love of God so I am feeling like everybody loves me too because the Love I have today is not just Love for my self but also for the people around me who appeared to be the instruments of Jesus and helps me all through out my journey. Amazing. Cannot even cry of sadness but crying of joy and thankfulness. I even took everything on the positive sides and it is helping me a lot for my everyday life. I became wider, a wide minded person who can understand and appreciate whatever is coming. 

I am working for love, with love and because of love. I still have my own goals, but my main goal is to help the people I loved first before helping my self-My family. 

I always thank my boyfriend for coming into my life but I am more thankful to God that He answered my prayer to give me this wonderful man that I am proud of. If, and only if, I do not love my boyfriend, I will not be this happy and content. I will not count the things that I am doing for him, but he knows exactly what are they even without telling. 

Sometimes, i must admit that I can feel a little sadness but it will not last. Having a boyfriend that works in a cruise ship is not easy, I need to be independent and know how to make my self happy without him. It is like, "i love you but i need to let you go" feeling. Hehe. Really. 

For an instance, if he is not working in a cruise ship, or if we are both in Philippines, everything would be the same too as he is a Chef. I already prepared myself for that from the beginning that I need to be used to living without him. Obviously, chefs are working harder during special days. But because of LOVE, I can bare it. 

I will close this blog with a qoutation,

"A woman can only stand by her own, if she have a man whom she can lean on when her feet cannot move on."

-Jhevey Razon

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